Listen: Relationship expert and neuropsychotherapist, Joanne Wilson busts some of those unhelpful relationship myths.

Myth 1: If you’re with the right person, your relationship should be effortless.

“When you are in a relationship, it’s a two-person system that requires both of you to be front and center. Your relationship should be a priority (after God) but more than anything else – even the children – because they’ll thrive when the two of you are going well.”

“It’s a misconception that you think that the other person is the problem and that you don’t have any role in any issue… think, act, and feel as a team, and ensure that you are taking responsibility for your role in the relationship and understanding what needs to be addressed.”

Myth 2: What about the one, that if you’re in good relationship you don’t argue?

“Communication is more than words. We need to ensure that our tones rate of speech, our facial expressions and body language are conducive to respectful and kind communication… Make sure that when we do disagree… there are some wonderful strategies that you can employ to ensure that you approach your differences in a healthy and respectful way that ensures that everyone is heard.

“… we’re not always happy with each other, things happen that can infringe on your love bubble, that makes it ebb and flow. So making sure that you anticipate adversity in your relationship to be able to navigate those storms.

Myth 3: Love is about finding someone who completes the missing half of you.

“You both need to turn up as the best version of yourself. Do you remember the movie Jerry McGuire when he says, you complete me?… I think it should be, you compliment me. It’s not as dramatic and exciting, but we need that healthy level of interdependence and dependence. Make sure that you enjoy your own pursuits and maintain your identity and self-worth.

You both need to turn up as the best version of yourself. Do you remember the movie Jerry McGuire when he says, you complete me?… I think it should be, you compliment me.

“You can step up as much as you can to help compliment the other person because it gets exhausting for them to constantly have to build you up and say, “oh no, you are amazing”. You can do it when the chips are down. That is the great thing about a relationship, is that we can rely on the other person. But I really encourage you to make sure that your self-esteem is healthy and make sure that you affirm yourself and your identity in Christ.

Listen to the full conversation in the player above. 

For more from Joanne Wilson tune in each Saturday from 12pm or find more from The Relationship Rejuvenator online.